Friday, May 3, 2013

How will I die?

NOTE: Optimistic people can keep calm and hit 'Back'.

There are few ideas that keep cropping up every time I think about how I could die.

1. Road accident: I was crossing the road this evening. There was absolutely no traffic. Halfway down the width of the road, my thoughts spiralled down and imagined a scene out of a movie where a car loses control and rams into someone crossing the road. The person flies across the road to the other side and dies on the spot. When I snapped back to reality 5 seconds later, I was safe. Life is no Bollywood movie.

2. Suicide: So you have a boss who just doesn't like your work. You try hard, and fail. Gradually, you get used to failing. Unknowingly, you keep failing again and again. Demotivated, you give up hope and plan to commit suicide. That could be one plan of action, but I guess I wouldn't want to hurt myself that much. I would rather deal with Monday Blues from Friday evening itself. And then cri lyk nethn.

3. Supernatural death: 11.30 pm. Mother switches off the lights. You've been staying in the same house for 5 years, but who knows when you provoke the aatma of the ex-inhabitants of this place. Maybe this place was built over a kabristan. So you're happily watching a horror movie on your laptop and in a parallel track, the same stuff is happening in your house and two skeletal hands appear out of nowhere and choke you to death. You don't even scream. That doesn't happen to me. Because I don't watch movies at all.

4. Heart break: Oh baby, I love you so much, I'd die without you. *Insert deep meaning poetry and all that jazz*. Love keeps blossoming and you still remember that first line throughout the relationship. Melodramatic love and shit. And then one day, he moves on. You're left alone. You still remember that first line. Slit the wrist, die for louue. Nope, that can't happen to me either. Forever alone.

5. Cold/Cough/Fever: Okay, maybe I'm not the only one who prefers to die than suffer with a blocked nose and fever and bad throat. While I lie in bed at night, I wonder philosophically if I'd ever wake up. When I wake up after a bad throat and high fever, I still wonder if I'd make it through the day. Sadly, I always do. I know what medicines to take to get rid of fever. Damn.

Shit. I guess I'm going to survive without a purpose in life. So be it.