Friday, July 27, 2012

Action. Masala. Entertainment

I was busy chatting with my mother over a cup of cold coffee when I looked up at the clock. It was 8 already. I was late by 5 minutes and I knew my regular bus must have left. I grabbed my bag and rushed towards Bhangel T-point. About 100 metres away from the T-point, I could see my bus disappear around the bend. Luckily there was another PS Choudhry bus right behind it.

I hopped on to the bus. The stoppage time (nobody decides how long that is) is generally about 5 minutes. Since there weren't too many people at the bus stop today, the driver decided to wait a little longer. 2 school kids in crumpled shirts and dirty shoes took the second seat. Impatient 15-year olds who have spent their lives in this tiny NOIDA village and think very highly of themselves.. yes you could also call them your typical Dilli ke ladke, that's how I would describe them.

About 3 minutes later one of them threatened the driver, "Chalta hai ki nahi?"

Now drivers don't take these warnings very seriously. This is something they get to hear 3437237 times in a day. He kept looking out of the window trying to get more passengers.

Shabby school kid: Aakhri baar pooch raha hoon, chalta hai ki nahi?

Driver: 4 bus aur ja rahi hain, itni jaldi hai to utar ke doosri le le.

School kid leaves his bag on the second seat and goes and sits on the first bench.

*Action sequence begins*

School kid: Kya bola tu?

Driver: Jaa shanti se baith, chal rahe hain.

The bus roared to a start and we finally made a move. In the meanwhile, something got into the school kid. He got up and slapped the driver thrice in a completely filmy style. An old lady who was quietly watching this scene got up to speak. "Kyu maarte ho beta, school jate ho, padhte likhte ho, ye sikhate hain? Wo itna bada aadmi hai.. usko maaroge?"

What do Bhangel-bred school lads know of morals? He signalled the driver to stop about half a kilometre later. This boy and his friend were about to get down when he went to the driver and slapped him again. Now this last one was your *CHATAAAK* slap right on the driver's left eye. His eye instantly turned red. The driver looked at the boy for a good 3 seconds and waited for him to get down. In the rear view mirror, he saw where the boys were going.

The lurking tiger behind that driver's pitiable face was exposed within nanoseconds. He crouched and leapt out of his seat, caught hold of a wooden laathi and ran out of the bus in a rage.

I quickly looked at my phone to check the time. I was horribly late, but did it even matter when there was live action unfolding right before my eyes?! I got down from the bus and my eyes started following the driver. The speed at which he was following the boys, he'd surely have put a few Olympic athletes to shame. I saw him hit one of the boys on his legs. I saw that boy fall. In response to this adrenaline rush, I actually wanted to clap and scream, "You go man! Get the other one, KILL KILL!"

I looked around and saw the others pretty worried. I quickly converted my grin into a morose face. When I turned to look at the crime scene again, a bus was blocking my view. The conductor screamed, "Aa jao, City Saantarr, City Saantarr! (read: Noida City Centre)" All right, it was time to get back to the monotony of real life. I took the bus and thanked the Lord for a lovely kick-start to this Friday morning!


  1. Very interesting. ekdam philmy. goood writing. !!

  2. Froota and her exciting life in village Banghel! Waah...where is RGV, we can have a movie on this! No? :P

  3. Good one...NOIDA Buses rock big time...though u can try an auto on such occasions....

  4. Bwahahahaha.. Frooota! Teri village toh filmy hai re