Monday, June 27, 2011

The Delhi Metro.

    About 2 years ago, when I'd first written about the varieties that travel in the metro, I had no idea that people would want to read it even after I had deleted my blog! 2 years has been a long time and the Delhi Metro has reached out to almost every corner of the city and has even touched the neighbouring states. With the ridership increasing every year, the varieties have also increased. There are a few legendary categories that shall always remain.

   1. The PYT. She is always formally dressed, has a figure to kill for, long hair that is always left open in an attempt to show-off the hair colour/straightening on which she spent almost half her salary. She moves and you hear tinkles coming from her bag that makes up for the bling factor that is missing on her clothes. Her phone is tightly held in her hand and it is then that you notice the well manicured okra-shaped fingers. The men who ogle at her at the platform, continue to ogle at her from the neighbouring coach. End of love story.

2. The lost lamb. The innocent first timer who makes the biggest mistake of his life by getting into the ladies' coach. The women around him greet him with cold stares, muttering to each other about the crime that he just committed. None of them however, will tell him to move to the other coach until a kind college-goer alerts him about his mistake. He picks up his luggage and obediently makes his way to the crowded coach.

3. The Sleeping Beauties. The early morning office goer. The moment he grabs a seat, he falls fast asleep, by choice of course. Nothing, mind you, nothing will make him budge. He sleeps peacefully through the entire journey, opening his eyes only when he is kissed by prince Rajiv Chowk. He comes to life and runs downstairs to repeat the same.

4. The pole -dancers. The under 6-year-old who catches hold of the pole as if it were a magnet. While the mother keeps calling out to them, they suddenly find a sense of belonging to this pole that doesn't match the pleasure of sitting on the mother's lap. They go round and round and round and... until you start feeling nauseated at the number of chakkars that they've taken.

5. The gigglee-puff. A bunch of 5-6(or more) girls who giggle among themselves, almost ignorant of the fact that the women behind them are staring at them with knotted brows. They're usually bitching about another girl-friend and enjoying the gossip.

6. The missed-it! They miss the announcements that ask them to get down at a particular station because the train won't go all the way to Vishwavidyalaya or Gurgaon or wherever. The next station, they're enquiring haplessly about where to go. They miss the train by millimetres, they miss the station where they had to get down!

7. The shade-y ones. Okay, so you've bought new, expensive shades. You're probably the first one in your family to buy them. DON'T flaunt them inside the metro because thankfully, there is no sun or dust flying in there. Keeping them aside for a while won't harm you because they're not running away!

8. The duds. They have it all. Branded footwear-addidas/adidos/reebob/nice/looto. They have jeans in the shades of yellow/orange/embroidered blue ones. The have fake Ed Hardy shirts. They have SRK's COOL chains and they have coloured hair that is either spiked or cropped. Style it up. Travel in the metro. Life's good.

9. The DU crowd. They can wear whatever they want, however they want to. You won't question their style, you will only admire them because they're on the yellow line. I-pods plugged to their ears, a book  in the hand, a set of spiral bound notes, unimaginable colours. Yes, they're going to north campus.

10. The gender divide. They are a couple. The lady decides to enter the metro from the ladies' compartment. The man enters from the next door, they end up meeting at that bridge that divided the ladies' coach from the rest of the train. They have eyes only for each other. I wonder how things would be any different if they'd entered in the metro from the same door!

11. The angry-young man/angry-young-woman. They can pick up a fight at the drop of a hat. She screams that he misbehaved. He defends himself saying that he'd misbehave with a younger woman instead of her. An argument ensues, the others in the coach smirk at the free entertainment. A few quiet ones intervene and things are settled.

12. The opportunity grabber. They spot an empty seat and rush to grab it, almost ninja-like. Somebody gets up and they hurriedly move towards it like a raging tornado, only to realise that the other person got up to dust himself/herself. They see space next to the door, they rush towards it bumping into 2 others who were trying to do the same! :P

There are a few more, but they don't qualify as a category. :P


  1. Nice. I loved it, once more.

  2. quite like london tubes, but, #7, at least here, people wear shades to not show their sleeping faces :) and london tubes are underground, yet people wear shades :)

  3. THE HELPERS: helps old uncles and aunties, even if they are not old. they have a feather up in their ass to give their seat to another person. "aap baith jayeye" he says. "nahi beta mujhe agle stn pe utarna hai". "koi ni uncle mein bhi agle pe hi utterunga" such a mundain. P.S-he does not leave at the next station but probes another seats to give it to others.

    THE N.C.Rians(GurGaon-NOIDA): young office people bitching about their boss and Colleagues, swearing, cursing, men-women hi-Fiving, bursting into laugh, making plans for the weekends aloud. "tu aarahi hai na" girl reply"nahi yaar mummy-papa ke saath ##### ja rahin hoon". he say some thing to other boy, both laugh hi-five girl also chuckles without knowing what the hell they are talking about.

  4. I was trying to imagine each one of these "varieties" as I read. That made it all the more hilarious.

  5. how cn u forget the most creative of them all the ones that use the mid of compartments for a Piknick.I hope u never traveled in Blue line.they are like darbans giving a WHATT?? look asking for an intro before u move across
    what about those SPY girls that juzz enter into the last compartment n travel their way through the first compartment.i know girls r health conscious but traveling the whole length of metro is their totally divine sense...:P
    dont mind...:D