Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Great Grumbling I : Chemistry/ Zero Chemistry

          Today as I sit idle in this house, almost being treated as a piece of furniture, I wonder why life has come to this? My memory goes spiralling down memory lane, falling with a thud, coming to a halt in the year 2002. The year marked the debut of the first red underline on my report card. When I moved my finger across the column, I read CHEMISTRY, in bold. The hatred for the subject dates back to 2002.
          The year 2003-04 was the crucial year. I was appearing for the first Board exam. Class 10. When I saw the previous year's result on the notice board, I found a 90+ figure against every name on that list. HOW on Earth did they manage to do that? I moved away from that board like a dejected loser, knowing that next year my name won't figure among the ones with a 90+ against their name. Back home, bickering about how I would end up being an average arts student was a routine. I would breathe easily under the bickering because that is what I always wanted to be, an arts student. The Prelim Results only strengthened my case futher. Science took the last position on the report card. Chemistry being the last! The Final Result however was a complete mirror image of the Prelim Result. Math ended up in 90+ followed by science. That day marked the beginning of the downfall of yours truly as a student.
          Forced into taking up Science, the grades fell like dominos. Occasionally the result was celebrated if the score crossed 50. Chemistry was one class that was missed at regular intervals, the School Magazine had to be compiled. Naturally, at the end of the year, people would want to see the Magazine and not my score in Chemistry! That was one wise argument that I respect till date. However with the end of school coming close, I had the following points in mind:
1. Take all the engineering and medical entrances,
2. Do not clear them
3. Take up English Literature
4. Write and become famous.
    The first two points were successfully followed. With the cut-offs being declared in DU, I managed to clear the cut-offs for the Science Courses. Father did not let me write the entrance for English. What was worse was, that father had conveniently ticked against Chemistry as the preferred course! My heart fell to unsounding depths. I picked it up and walked to the registration desk hoping that they would close admissions as I handed my form over to them. They took it from me gladly. Somewhere above my head, a balloon burst. It said "Author-Shruti Vajpayee". The magnitude of the sound of the balloon burst drowned the voice of the lady across the table. She asked me to submit the fees in the Office.
    As I reached out to the lady in the Office with my fees, the author within me did a DDLJ-SRK-Climax scene. He took the train with his hand reaching out to me. Only this time, Amrish Puri did not allow his daughter to run after that dream. Yes, my father does resemble Amrish Puri sometimes.
    I felt like B.tech's widow who was being asked to sacrifice her life by jumping into the fire. The burns that I sustained during the first year of college are still fresh. The remaining years were a series of ups and downs. Finally, Chemistry came to an end. I did not get through the management entrances either. I was being victimised by Chemistry. Suddenly Chemistry was acting like this jilted lover that wouldn't let me go anywhere else. To my horror, I ended up doing my Masters in the same.
    By now, I hated Chemistry sorely. Every time I held the question paper in my hand, it seemed like somebody had waved the Red Flag. War had been declared. It was me against the Teacher. The paper was built on a simple pattern, you don't attend my class, I give you questions that are clearly out of the syllabus. By the end of the exam you would end up crumpled to death by the enemy's horses and elephants. Sadly, this is what Chemistry gave me a investing 5 decisive years into it. I felt like the lover who had been wronged.
    For all those years that I juggled effectively with the glass apparatus like a Ninja, for all those sleepless nights that I spent manipulating graphs, almost turning cross-eyed, for all the pages I wasted memorising reactions! This is what Chemistry asks me to do to secure my future, take the NET, National Eligibility Test. This is like being in a Swayamwar, where you are pitted against the other contestants, all trying to woo the host! The lucky one wins! What about the unlucky ones like myself? Are we expected to roam about the streets singing melancholic songs that speak of "bewafai"?
    The amount of hatred that I have for the subject makes me want to write about our strange relationship, probably into a book. A relationship with ZERO CHEMISTRY! And I will make sure it beats the Romeo-Juliet and the likes with the Romantic Tragedy that it has turned out to be!


  1. juz felt as if m reading my own story.. :).. tooo good

  2. awesome (or rather incredible) blog post.. :) and yeah chemistry b/w you and your blogpost is really cool though I really don't know about yours :P

  3. this is exactly what didn't happen to me.... because i didn't listen to my father and signed up for arts after 10th....... (it helped that around that time.. my father was really busy with shifting houses...... )...
    but.. yeah.. up until the 10th board results.. my story was exactly the same...

  4. same story till the para 2 though I verily wanna take science coz i like science and yes i thought one day i'll be a scientist and yes final result is a total turnaround of the prelims.

    yes The first two points were also successfully followed by me.
    yes I also managed to clear the cut-offs(3rd) for the Science Courses but the lowest of the DU collages.

    Somewhere above my head, a balloon burst. It said "THEATER ACTOR AND OSCAR WINNER- @$#%&*^%"

    YES i am a B.tech widow since i dropped of DU to take admission in a feign engineering collage on $ donation $(my father is not rich so don't sweat with the future thoughts to kidnap me). To my horror, I ended up doing my B.tech in the same.

    Shakespearean tragedy is what my...